My purse rings sitting on my bed. I rush over to dig for the flashing light in the bottom to answer my cell phone before it switches to voice mail. I hurriedly push "accept", thinking it was my boss, just as I noticed, "Pierre calling".
Too late to hang up,I looked at the open line.
"Hello Pierre". I answer.
"I want you (pause-pause) to be my girrrlfriend." I hear on the other end. I reply with silence. Not a word as I wonder, which girlfriend does he want me to be? Number 4? Number 3? Why does he need more? (silence-silence).
"Is this impossible for you?" he breaks the silence. "Ah, Yes, you are a woman, who prefers to be a-lone." he answers his own question in the one-way conversation.
"Uh..." I reply in my usual way of answering his questions. "I do miss you and I do miss all the dinners we had last year, and the parties, and going places with you, meeting your colleagues, the fashion shows and all that..." I spurted out in honesty. "But you don't want to be my girrrlfriend?" he asked, or was he stating, his words in English with a French rhythm.
"Why can't we just be the same as last year and go out like we did then?" I asked.
"Last year, you were my girlfriend." he answered.
Note: Okay, here is where I have to admit, (although Adrian has told me this more than once), I must be really, really chronically naive.
Yes, I do remember being introduced to his friends and co-workers as his "petit-ami", which I had always thought was "cute"; thinking he called me his "little friend". I later learned from my French instructor in Colorado that this really meant "girlfriend". How was I suppose to know? (don't get any crazy ideas about my instructor teaching me the term in Colorado, it was just a part of the lesson...)
I wonder why Pierre never told me I was his girlfriend last year? Well, I guess he did (in French, perhaps?). And that explains all the really nice things he did for me. But if I didn't know I was his girlfriend in English, it doesn't it really count, does it?
The conversation continues after his "startling revelation". The ball of the conversation now sits in my court, but what can I say after that? Do I ask him when exactly did I become his girlfriend last year? No, that would really sound naive. How about, "Are you sure I was your girlfriend?, I mean, maybe it was someone else..." No, that wouldn't be very smart either. So in my infinite wisdom, I say, "Well, can't we just pretend that I'm your girlfriend again?"
I can hear my real girl friends saying right now, "No you didn't!?", "You didn't say that to him did you?" and I would have say, "Yes, those are the brilliant words that came forth from my lips." "Can we PRETEND?!"
I have to wonder myself, what am I thinking? NO! I am not thinking. My brain goes into hibernate at times and my mouth keeps moving.
He laughs hysterically. The same way I wanted to laugh, when I heard the first words of our conversation, but didn't. I remember immediately, that's one of the things I also miss about him is the laughter.
We don't spend any time together anymore, but we talked a little more, laugh a lot more and in the end, he concluded as usual, "You are an impossible woman."
Then why does he keep calling me? I wonder naively.