My cell phone rings. "Hello?" there's no number, so I have no idea who's calling. "You are Stew-ped." I recognize the voice, the French accent, and the rhythm of the words. "Oh, Hello Pierre." I reply. "Why?, Why?, Why?" he says dragging out the y as if he's in pain.
Why me?, I ask myself at the silent pause. "Whyyyyy?" Pierre asked again. "Pierre, Why what." I demand without asking. "Why, why, why, nothing, nothing, I hear nothing from you, why?"
This is the story of my life. I try to break away, I leave, I move, I hide, they search for me and find me. I explain to Pierre, that I deleted his phone number from my cell phone. (ah, now it dawns on me as I write, why there was no identification of the number) and I told him I was finished with him after he went to Germany with his girlfriend. A women I don't really know exists , but my intuition tells me there's another woman or two, possibly three in his life. I don't want to share my life with a French man who has a few girlfriends and wants to add me to his collection.
We have a long conversation, in his broken English and my limited French. We argue, we debate. He tells me that the problem is that he and I are too much alike. He said I am a woman who knows what I want, just as he is a man who knows what he wants. He tells me that I am stupid to leave him and I am stupid to believe that we are finished. I wonder if he realizes how hard his words are translated?
His words seem to reach deep inside to break me down. I tell him goodbye.
The real problem is, I am a woman who doesn't know what she wants with this man and can't find who really she wants to be with. I wonder if I am going to find problems with every man I meet? Maybe I am stupid? I realize those are his words inside me, not mine. But still they are there echoing inside of me....Stupid!