After talking to all my friends, and sharing with them my "problem" of whether or not to move to Paris (a longtime absolute dream of mine), I have made up my mind...pretty much, that I am going to follow my heart, and my passion to Paris.
My "problem" is that I must first be cordial and quit my job. I've never been the one to quit anything. Even in bad relationships with the men I have dated, I was never the one to walk away in a clear cut affiramitive, it's over kind of way. This situation is like being in a relationship that just isn't working for me, but I haven't figured out how to let it go, stop waffeling, and move on even when I know there is a possibility that something better is waiting over the horizon. Like Max used to say, I'm "Wishy-washy". Why is this so difficult? It's that Rock called Fear, just sitting there in my way.
The job I have now is a great job, with wonderful co-workers who are all like family. I’m not just writing this because a blog is public and they may read it one day. Honestly, I could not ask for a better group of co-workers and a better company to work for. They have done a lot for me as far as training, learning opportunities, and a salary in this challenging economy. I was hired in July of last year (2008) for a position in Germany. I accepted the job because my ultimate goal in life was to live in Paris, and this job was only a 3 hour train ride to the city of my dreams.
However, as of today (May 8th 2009), they have not come through with their end of the bargain, and here I sit in limbo since returning to Colorado in November to start the training and transfer process, waiting for the move to Germany.
I was selected for this job in July 2008, and November 2008 is actually when they called me back from Paris last year to start the in-process procedure, with the promise that I would be in Germany by December 2008. So this is how my situation reflects a relationship that is not in line with my dreams anymore. I decided that I needed to draw the line somewhere. I picked mid-May to make my decision and I think we have crossed the line and now the ball is in my court.
With the ball in my court, it's time for me to take action for my own life, instead of waiting for others and leaving my life under the control and authority of this company. The problem with this is that most of my life, and after 20 years in the Air Force, others have made the decisons of my life for me. Now it's my turn to decide what's best for me and move in the direction of my dream.
I do believe that everything happens for a reason and maybe the reason I have been in limbo so long is because this is not the job for me. Maybe it is not the path I am really, really suppose to take?
I know that when I seem to be on the “right” path for my life, things seem to flow effortlessly. My life right now is not flowing effortlessly, every step of working this transfer to Germany has not been smooth….I believe I need to flow on over to Paris! Keep reading my blog and follow me.
Well that’s my decision for today...I will move to Paris. So far I have not made any concrete efforts to move in that direction. Actually, I have hired a realtor to put my house on the market for rent or sale, whichever comes first. In this economy, I think it will rent much faster than it will sale.
Okay, I will end now becuase I was reading that a good blog is a short blog, so I will try to keep them short.
Bottom line for today: I did not book my flight to Paris yet and I have not given my resignation from my job yet. (But I have made the decision to move) The flight and a resignation letter are my top 2 Things to Do, so when I accomplish them, you will know that I am really moving in the direction of my dreams.