Saturday, May 23, 2009

Ka-Pow to Fear

Memorial Day Weekend, I stayed home from work today to try to get a little more organized for the move to Paris. Right now I have too, too many clothes to take. How do I get clothes for summer, fall and winter in 3 pieces of luggage? I think I will have to pay for excess baggage, but at the same time I am trying to simplify and organize my life.

I know, It seems crazy that with the economy so bad right now, I have resigned from a “potentially” great job in Germany with benefits, retirement and great pay to pack a few suitcases and move to "Just Live." This is my DREAM.

But really, I have given it a lot of thought and I believe in my heart that I truly “belong” in Paris. I still do not know exactly why I feel so “led” to live in Paris, but I think it is my “calling”. The reality is that the great contractor job can easily end anytime with just a few words: “We’re sorry but we had to cut you from the contract……” I've seen it happen. How much more time should I have wasted, putting off my dream? Many people live their life without ever experiencing the dream put inside of them.

I believe I can get another “job” if I really need. Also, I am still getting positive “signs’ from “That Something” in my life that tells me this is the Divine right thing to do in my life at this time. On Tuesday the 19th, I felt led to write out the affirmation I posted, and the next day at work, Wednesday the 20th, by chance I ran into an old friend, Myra at work, I told her I resigned from my job and was stepping out on Faith and moving to Paris. Then she started telling me about a book she was reading that corresponded exactly to what I was telling her about Faith. She told me to get the book called” The Game of Life”, by Florence Shinn. I got chills when she told me the author’s name was Florence. Was that a coincidence?

I bought the book and as I read it, I was sure of another sign, when I found the example of a daughter going on a trip where the mother did not approve. The mother feared the trip was dangerous. I don’t think my mother has that fear, but for whatever reason, she does not support me in following my dream. The first thing author tells the mother is: “ You are forcing your personal will upon your daughter, which you have no right to do, and your fear of the trip is only attracting it, for man attracts what he fears. Let go, and take your mental hands off; put it in God’s Hands, and use this statement:”
Here is the affirmation that followed:

"I put this situation in the hands of Infinite Love and Wisdom;
if this trip is the Divine plan, I bless it and no longer resist,
but if it is not divinely planned,
I give thanks that it is now dissolved and dissipated.”

In the book, the daughter’s trip was dissolved. I feel like I was led to this affirmation because it is also used to bless the Divine trip which I believe is mine and release me from the mental enforcement place on me. I needed to read that, because I feel like my mother also tries to force her personal will on me. I needed to know that she (nor anyone else) has the right to do that. I needed to hear someone stand up to her and say, “Take your mental hands off”.

Take your mental hands off! I need to be Free to follow this dream.
To the Rock Called Fear: KA-BOOM!! To the little pieces that try to stop me, I say: "KA-POW!"
I will keep writing…


  1. Florence,
    Awesome - keep being the courageous Captain of your life. You will always learn new things by facing new challenges, but make the choices FOR YOUR LIFE - you own all those choices now. I know you see that. It is not a dream any longer - it is a choice. Choices can be changed just as easily as quitting a job, for right or wrong reasons, but that it part of the adventure: explore into the unknown while trusting your instincts.
    You are doing great - look how much you are learning, and how much clearer and stronger you are getting - but it is all about the choices you make for yourself. You certainly can be happy where ever you choose to be, if you choose to be. You can choose to be unhappy too, if you want to be. We can be thinner or fatter by the choices we make. So many choices overlap and get complicated, so sometimes we compromise, but again, we compromise knowingly. It sounds like Paris is no longer something you are going to compromise on.

  2. Yipee, I have a my first "follower"! Uh, but don't take that term literally... Thanks Carrie for your comments and your support.

    It's nice to get feedback. (I know you others are out there reading...hint, hint)
    I plan to make shorter blogs in the future and I will add photos too.

    You're life would also make an interesting blog. It's EASY to start one. Let me know if you already have one.