U.S. Check Stand Interrogation

Lately I have been feeling irritated after making simple purchases at grocery stores or department store check stands. Today I realized the reason why as I reached the last straw during the Checkout Stand Interrogation (CSI). CSI happens to me all the time, and there’s only so much a girl can take. Every single time I reach the check out cashier, the interrogation begins:

1. How are you doing today? (not bad) I can handle this one…but it continues…
2. Did you find everything you were looking for? (yes)
3. Would you like to keep these items on the hanger? (no)
4. Would you like paper or plastic? (plastic)
5. Will you be paying with our store credit card? (no)
6. Would you like to save 10% on your purchase? (no thanks)
7. Will you be paying with another credit card or cash? (credit card)
8. Which card will you be using today? Visa or Mastercard? (Visa)
9. Will you use that as a debit or credit card? (debit…damn-it…uh, excuse me)
10. Would you like to donate to the Children’s Hospital Fund today? (not today)

And then the payment machine starts in with the interrogation:
11. Will you please enter your pin number? (xxxx)
12. Would you like to continue or cancel? (continue…duh!?)
13. Is this total correct? Yes or No. (you’re the #$%@ computer, you should know)
14. Would you like the full amount debited from your card? (yes…where else?)
15. Would you like cash back? Yes or No. (yes)
16. How much would you like? ($20.00)
17. Would you like a receipt? (please don’t ask me another %$#@ question)

So the machine stops but the cashier interrogation continues…and I just want to take my stuff and run…
18. Would you like help out today? (leave me alone.)
19. Would you like the receipt with you or in the bag? (I don’t care.)

And today, I was asked one new question…the final question that has completely pushed me over the edge with Check Stand Interrogation. I cannot take this anymore...
20. Would you like a coupon?

Yes, that question caused my brain to short circuit and freeze up right there at the checkout. I couldn’t answer yes or no. I could only look at the cashier in a frozen daze as she actually waited for a response. I was afraid to answer, would there be more questions? I felt the customers behind me waiting for me to move. It was like everything happened in slow motion. She pulled the receipt out of the register with an extra piece of paper that I think was the coupon. The whole time, she kept her eyes on me, waiting for a repsonse.
She put the paper in my hand and as I closed my hand on the two pieces of paper, she slid the second piece of paper out of my grasp and I walked away…without the coupon, irritated.

The last time I was in Paris shopping, check out was simple, no interrogation: Bonjour, when I approached and a "look" that the transion was complete and I could walk away. I think I will be happy to shop in Paris....next week!